Countdown to Christmas

It's been a really busy week this week with gigs, rehearsals, and teaching. Then, last night was my first open evening at school. I still find it strange to have kids calling me Sir and Mr Penguin, it's even stranger when parents do it!

It was quite a good night overall and hopefully all the preparation the night before, reading a BTEC syllabus cover to cover and coming up with various enrichment classes that could count towards the BTEC modules, paid off. It would have been nice to be given more than 24 hours notice to do all that, but that never seems to be the way it works.

It's the end of term for me now which means no more school until September. Yay? No. It means I take a pay cut over the summer and have to rely on private teaching and any gigs that come along. At least you'll have plenty of free time? Again, no! I have to prepare for September. Lesson plans for groups that may or may not happen and lots of writing music.

A big proportion of this summer is going to be spent arranging Christmas music for Steel Pan groups and the junior wind band. If I'm lucky I'll get a break from Christmas music in September, but by October nearly all of my music groups will be starting to rehearse for Christmas concerts. And I'll have all my own gigs to rehearse for by November.

This is it then, by next week it's my very own countdown to Christmas. If you see a curly haired musician beating the living shit out of a department store Santa for whistling Jingle Bells, come say hi.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it

People, I'm excited. Luckily for you it's not sexually so you can take off the goggles and shower cap and gather round.

I'm excited about the new trailer released today for Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol. At this point let me clarify that like every other vaguely normal person I find Tom Cruise to be a strange, midget-like mental case, but I do love the Mission: Impossible films.

Right now I'm watching MI-3 and it's a pretty good film, largely thanks to director J.J.Abrams (and in my own geeky mind composer Michael Giacchino). J.J won't be directing number four but he is still a producer (and Giacchino is still scoring!) This time around Brad Bird will be at the helm as director — that's right, the director of The Iron Giant, The Incredibles and Ratatouille will be taking on his first live action film.

If you can put up with a two hour toothy smirk from the lead weirdo this should be an interesting movie. Oh yeah, it also has Simon Pegg and Lost's Josh Holloway for the ladies.

Now I just need to sneak out of the house when it comes out on boxing day...... Check out the trailer below.

People who Piss me off

Lots of people have pet peeves. Who knows, I could even be one of yours. As I get older I feel that I'm getting more and more grumpy about everyday things, and nothing makes me grumpier than people. When I inevitably at some point end up moaning out load about the things that piss me off, I then feel bad about moaning so it's a lose-lose scenario for me.

Now, before you get all smart arse on me and start thinking "people who moan piss me off" a) please see the irony in your own thought and commence with self-hate immediately and b) I'm not one to moan out load in public. I keep it inside and then bitch to family, friends and my long suffering partner.
Without further ado I give you a (very) shortened list of entitled 'People who Piss me off'.

• People who moan out loud in public
• Anyone who tuts in a queue
• The person who runs back into the shop to get that last item, holding up the line at the checkout
• Cyclists who ride side by side
• Cyclists without lights/helmets/reflective clothing etc
• Cyclists
• Caravaners
• Fat middle aged men who shout at sportsmen on the TV
• People who wear sports clothing for everyday use
• People who are computer illiterate doing jobs that involve computers
• People who are bad at their jobs
• Runners
• Bullys
• People who drive like dicks, inevitably in a German car
• Litterers 
• People who talk in the cinema
• Queue jumpers
• Male, teenage drivers
• Teenagers
• Anyone who rides a moped
• Cyclists again
• Stupid people
• Radio One presenters
• Everyone I didn't care about at school who added me on Facebook. And their stupid children
• People who send chain emails
• Telemarketers
• Politicians 
• Boy racers
• Anyone who goes door to door trying to sell religion
• People who deny evolution or the Holocaust (grouped together as they're the same kind of moron)
• People who own landrovers and don't live on the side of a mountain
• People who buy a people carrier because they have two kids and a dog
• The man who lives up the street from me
• People who talk just to fill a silence
• People who think you're sad or moody just because you don't talk to fill a silence
• Anyone who walks around shirtless in public
• Anyone who wears lycra in public
• Parents who swear at their small children in public
• People who walk the street with an open can of lager
• Women who apply make-up with a shovel
• Old ladies that don't wear bras
• Compulsive liars
• Psychics (see compulsive liars)
• People who, when they find out I'm a musician, tell me all about how they used to play an instrument and could have made it if they'd only kept it up
• Anyone who smells really strongly of weed
• Anyone who smells faintly like a bodily fluid/function
• Homophobics
• Tweenage girls who dress like hookers
• Justin Bieber
• People who are just too into fashion and dress like twats
• People who have no clue about fashion and dress like twats
• Anyone who shouts in the street
• White people who dress like rappers
• People who don't acknowledge wearing a football shirt is just as much playing dress-up as wearing a Star Trek uniform
• People with a stuffed toy collection on the parcel shelf of their car
• Cellists
• Me
• Cyclists
• Any group of people who share the same haircut
• Vegans
• Hippies
• Responsible adults with facial piercings
• Guys who hit on girls who clearly have a boyfriend (also see list entitled; Things that make me use my shotgun)
• People who stare at me
• Noisy people in the quiet carriage   

I think that's enough for now, but rest assured more may follow. Feel free to add to the list yourself.
If this list has offended anyone in anyway, well, it's kind of your fault really and you might want to have a bit of a rethink about your entire life.

Penguin's been busy

Fear not reader(s), I haven't abandoned you. Yes, I know it's been over a month since I last wrote anything, but I've been busy. Not that kind of busy where I just say I've been busy and I've actually just been lazy and you can kinda tell by looking at my film list and Twitter feed and then call me on my procrastinating bullshit. I mean work related busy.

First of all, my big gig went very well. It was hard work filling in for someone and learning an entire album in a couple of weeks for the sake of one gig and having to rehearse Cajon so much that I ripped my hands apart, but my God it was fun. Here's a picture (I'm the one at the back sitting on the box)

In gig related news, I won't be doing the cruise ship gig this winter, but instead I'm now finally teaching in school. I'm only in one day a week doing instrumental lessons and hopefully groups, but hooray for some steady work. It's weird going into school and being called 'Sir' or 'Mr Penguin' (obviously my real surname isn't Penguin and the kids don't really call me Mr Penguin. If they did it'd just be a bit messed up) 

I've also been really busy with having to transcribe drum parts, arranging songs about Jesus for keyboard students, arranging Christmas music in June for brass students exams and writing out various exercises to use in my teaching. Given the amount of work I have ahead with all of that, I'm toying with the idea of putting them all in a book.

The great thing about being a freelance musician is at that I can spend a day in the studio recording a play-along version of my partner's favourite song to cheer her up during uni exams and I get to call it work. By the end of the week I was filling in with a big band performing Michael Buble songs. Who needs financial stability, eh? 

Oh yeah, and I've started a diet. I even go and get weighed every week. I know what you're thinking..."fatty fatty bum bum" well sod you! It's more a controlling my diet and getting back in shape now that I'm (mostly) in remission from my colitis. I'm cooking fresh stuff every day and being very good. I'm even teaching my baby brother, who's also in the group, to cook.

Hopefully with the summer holiday approaching I'll have more time to sit down and thrill my readership with the delights of my innermost thoughts once more. I bet you can't wait.

Gigs are like buses.......

........ They're big, red, full of nutters and smell of stale piss. Okay that's not what I meant, well some gigs.... never mind lets get back on track here.

Bad jokes aside I've had a real shortage of gigs since I've returned to being a professional musician, luckily for me most of my work comes from teaching anyway but getting the odd gig now and again is important for several reasons. Most of all cash, it's a necessary boost to the income when a half decent gig comes along. Just getting out there and playing is really important too just you keep your hand in as it's very easy to become complacent or even lazy if you're not performing. The other reason has to be self esteem, if you're not getting any gigs at all you really start to wonder why you're bothering.

What makes it harder for me is the fact that I'm completely freelance, I'm bandless so to speak and therefore have to rely on people needing a percussionist. When they do it's usually a last minute kind of job where I'm just filling in so it's high pressure but that's what makes it all worthwhile. 
I really enjoyed being in my last band but while bands and artists tend to get the odd well paid gig, or medium to high profile bit of TV work today's music scene is a pay-to-play culture and I can't afford to do that as music is my job and I have to make it pay or I'll starve. (For those aware that my partner is a food blogger replace starve with bitch a lot and cry)

I've already mentioned that this year I got orchestral work playing timps in a requiem and that I'm depping (the muso lingo for filling in) for a very good band at the end of May. It looks like I'm also going to get some dep work with a covers band containing members of the very good band and some work which will essentially be up-market busking. There have also be some noises made about doing some percussion at festivals too, it may not be glastonbury but it's high-profile enough and it's work. Of course as musicians we tend to live on the promise of work, 50% materialises and the other 50% doesn't but so far it's teetering on the more positive of the two.

The big news is that I've been offered a cruise gig at the end of the year. It's very early days at the moment and it may not happen as I haven't decided if I'm going to accept the offer yet. I have established that I can get the time off school and a friend who is also a music teacher has said she's able to take on my private students if I go. There's so much to consider with this one and while 10 weeks in the Mediterranean playing cheesy pop does sound cool It's not a decision I can rush into. Not least because it would mean being away all over Christmas and New Year.

The main thing is that I'm getting offers again and that's going to help fill the gap between now and reapplying to spend the rest of my career in the classroom.

One step forward two steps back

My frequent reader(s) may remember all the talk about going back to University to do my PGCE and become a secondary school teacher. Well here's the update, and it's not great news.

I got a letter from the teacher training people the other day telling me that basically I'm not going to Uni this year. It's not even that I've been turned down, the letter said they were unable to forward my application to the university due to the course being full. There were only a few places left after I first spoke to the university in February, which is why my part of the application was completed three days later. Unfortunately my boss took two bloody months to write my reference and upload it to the website and now my chances of going back to uni this academic year are over.

I'm pissed off about this of course but I'm remaining positive and I'll be the first to have my application in for next year. Between now and then I will be working my arse off on the whole maths thing and doing whatever else it takes to jump through all the hoops the uni want me to and more.

Luckily the work front is looking a little better at the moment. After a run of bad luck and a dry spell of gigs things may be starting to turn around. Last month I was hired to play timpani for a Requiem being sung by a choir and this month I'm going to be depping for a band as their drummer can't make a gig. This is a really good opportunity with a really good established band and it looks like it could lead to more work. On top of the potentially good I get more teaching hours in school from next month too and hopefully the September term will bring a few more hours too.

One step forward and two steps back maybe but at least I'm remaining positive for now.

Happy Star Wars Day

That's right it's May the 4th and to help it be with you I thought I'd share some Star Wars related photos I've taken. So whether you're Jedi, Sith, or just normal rebel scum enjoy.